Everybody needs to calm down and listen very carefully. I am one of a small group of people who know what "convfefe" means, and you really don't want to know. I wish I didn't. It's stupid. It happened a long time ago, it wasn't that funny in the first place, and I should know because I was there. You will roll your eyes so hard when you find out. The only mystery here is why D.J. keeps bringing it up. He gets like that when he's drunk. Let's talk about what's important.
Last week, I started a feature on my Facebook page wherein each day I post a GIF of a beheading from a different movie or TV show. I call it Daily Decapitation, and you should watch for it. Evidently Kathy Griffin saw it, misunderstood it on many levels, tried to steal the idea for her Twitter page, and the whole thing blew up in her face. Serves her right, the fuckin' hack.
What else won't people shut up about this week?
Fidget spinners. They're toys. You really don't need to have an opinion about them.
Now we're caught up on current events, let's talk about a movie.
This week's Thursday Thriller is Hellraiser.
This gory 1987 dark fantasy established author Clive Barker as a director of feature films and introduced us to the Cenobites, a gang of sex demons who are into the most extreme kinds of sadomasochism.
A horny guy named Frank (Sean Chapman) has exhausted his imagination in finding horny stuff to do. You name it, he's tried it and now he's bored. Tell me about it, right?
So Frank gets a hold of a puzzle box that is reputed to open up all the pleasures of Heaven or Hell and he opens up the Hell side because he's not particular. He soon learns Hell's idea of pleasure involves him being flayed alive.
Shortly after, Frank's brother Larry (Andrew Robinson) and Larry's wife Julia (Clare Higgins) move into the same house where Frank opened the box. Julia and Frank once had an affair. Skinless Frank (Oliver Smith) reminds Julia of all the horny times they had together and suggests they could have them again if she'd just bring home some men to kill so he can have skin again. What could go wrong?
Hellraiser is a gory tale of adultery and murder with insinuations of rape and incest. The Cenobites aren't even the weirdest monsters in it. It's one of those movies. If you haven't watched it yet, it's time, and if you have, it might be time to watch it again. It streams on Netflix, Hulu Plus, Shudder and YouTube.