One of the greatest misconceptions about me is that I want things done at midnight. If there's one thing I've noticed over the eons, saying midnight to mortals causes way too much confusion. I could never guarantee you an exact count of the guitar players who've missed me by nearly 24 hours, because I didn't specify to be at the crossroads closer to 12:01 a.m. or 11:59 p.m., but I can name them. I could look a bunch of them up in my old appointment books. It would be a waste of time. You've never heard of them, because they still suck.
Halloween is still over a month away, but the cheapo hockey masks and glow-in-the-dark meat cleavers are already on the shelves at Dollar Tree, the smell of pumpkin spice is choking everyone who's not too busy getting over or preparing for a massive hurricane, and I've already started whipping my menagerie into shape for seasonal display at The Devil's Attic.
This week's Thursday Thriller is Trick or Treat.
Halloween is still over a month away, but the cheapo hockey masks and glow-in-the-dark meat cleavers are already on the shelves at Dollar Tree, the smell of pumpkin spice is choking everyone who's not too busy getting over or preparing for a massive hurricane, and I've already started whipping my menagerie into shape for seasonal display at The Devil's Attic.
This week's Thursday Thriller is Trick or Treat.
I wanted to hold this movie until closer to Oct. 31, but I just can't wait for Halloween. I have to tell you about this now.
Skippy from Family Ties grew his hair out and flung on an army jacket for his role as a disaffected youth in this masterful adolescent fantasy from 1986. Charles Martin Smith directed it.
Ragman (Skippy aka Marc Price) has problems with bullies. His one release from the torture they make his daily life, the thing that makes him feel powerful and gives him an identity in his troubled youth, is heavy metal music. Heavy metal is everything to him and his favorite artist is Sammi Curr (Tony Fields).
Curr is the ultimate rock 'n' roll bad boy. He wears tight leather pants and bites live snakes in half on stage. Naturally, he attracts the ire of 1980s-era religious conservatives and busybody, Tipper Gore-type liberals. One night somebody torches the hotel he's staying at and Curr dies in the fire. Ragman is devastated. Anyone who lived through 2016 can relate.
Ragman drops by his local rock station for consolation from his favorite DJ and rock buddy Nuke (Gene Simmons), who tries to cheer him up by bequeathing upon him the ultimate plot device: the last record of an alleged satanist and bonafied heavy metal god handed over to the unworthy by none other than the most famous member of Kiss. Nuke plans to play his backup copy on midnight on Halloween.
After a nearly fatal encounter with his nemeses at a pool party, does Ragman get all butthurt and shoot up the school? Nope. He handles his problems like kids did in the 80s, he goes home and rocks out to his new record, and of course he plays it backwards because that's where rock singers recorded all their best advice back then.
On a personal note, I blame the decline of vinyl album sales for the apparent uptick in school shootings over the years, however a counterpoint could be made that last year, deaths caused by heavy metal demons shooting lightning out of their guitars wasn't statistically far enough from zero to be considered significant.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Ragman gets good advice from Sammi's last record at first. They have meaningful conversations. He learns to stand his ground with the bullies, and the battles seem to escalate. Eventually, the record tells Ragman to give a taped copy of itself to his main anatagonist as a peace offering. A girl listens to it on a Walkman and the music tears her clothes off, she gets off a little, then her brain fries out.
Skippy from Family Ties grew his hair out and flung on an army jacket for his role as a disaffected youth in this masterful adolescent fantasy from 1986. Charles Martin Smith directed it.
Ragman (Skippy aka Marc Price) has problems with bullies. His one release from the torture they make his daily life, the thing that makes him feel powerful and gives him an identity in his troubled youth, is heavy metal music. Heavy metal is everything to him and his favorite artist is Sammi Curr (Tony Fields).
Curr is the ultimate rock 'n' roll bad boy. He wears tight leather pants and bites live snakes in half on stage. Naturally, he attracts the ire of 1980s-era religious conservatives and busybody, Tipper Gore-type liberals. One night somebody torches the hotel he's staying at and Curr dies in the fire. Ragman is devastated. Anyone who lived through 2016 can relate.
Ragman drops by his local rock station for consolation from his favorite DJ and rock buddy Nuke (Gene Simmons), who tries to cheer him up by bequeathing upon him the ultimate plot device: the last record of an alleged satanist and bonafied heavy metal god handed over to the unworthy by none other than the most famous member of Kiss. Nuke plans to play his backup copy on midnight on Halloween.
After a nearly fatal encounter with his nemeses at a pool party, does Ragman get all butthurt and shoot up the school? Nope. He handles his problems like kids did in the 80s, he goes home and rocks out to his new record, and of course he plays it backwards because that's where rock singers recorded all their best advice back then.
On a personal note, I blame the decline of vinyl album sales for the apparent uptick in school shootings over the years, however a counterpoint could be made that last year, deaths caused by heavy metal demons shooting lightning out of their guitars wasn't statistically far enough from zero to be considered significant.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Ragman gets good advice from Sammi's last record at first. They have meaningful conversations. He learns to stand his ground with the bullies, and the battles seem to escalate. Eventually, the record tells Ragman to give a taped copy of itself to his main anatagonist as a peace offering. A girl listens to it on a Walkman and the music tears her clothes off, she gets off a little, then her brain fries out.
What else can I say? There are high-speed car stunts. Ozzy Osbourne has a cameo as a TV preacher crusading against metal. The soundtrack is by a band called Fastway, and whatever you think of the hair metal genre, they are good at what they do.
Trick or Treat is the best two-hour music video I have ever watched. It streams on YouTube, but if you don't have two hours, you could just watch the actual music video.
Trick or Treat is the best two-hour music video I have ever watched. It streams on YouTube, but if you don't have two hours, you could just watch the actual music video.
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