"Would you be yourself if you looked like this?"

It's Thursday the 12th. You know what that means?

This week's Thursday Thriller is Friday the 13th Part 3.

Jason gets his trademark hockey mask in this 1982 Steve Miner film, which was initially presented in 3-D.

It's ostensibly about a girl named Chris (Dana Kimmell) who grew up in a house along the ill-fated Crystal Lake, moved away after Jason Voorhees (Richard Brooker) attacked her in the woods. She has come back to catch up with her boyfriend Rick (Paul Kratka) and to prove something to herself, whatever that means. Prove what? That you think having a basic sense of self-preservation is overrated?

Her motivation isn't quite thoroughly explored because, well, you know how these movies work by now. They had to give the fans what they wanted -- high body counts. A lot of characters have to get introduced and get dead in around 90 minutes and at least one of them has to get naked. So there's not a lot of time spent picking Chris's brain, not that we care anyway. She just has to bring the meat.

Chris drives up to the lake house with a van full of friends, including a pair of dope-smoking hippies, a guy who likes to take his shirt off and walk around on his hands, his pretty, also momentarily shirtless girlfriend, their friend Vera (Catherine Parks), and her blind date, a fat, kinky-haired horror nerd named Shelly (Larry Zerner).

Shelly steals the show with his tasteless murder pranks and self pity. He fakes getting stabbed, scares the hell out of everybody, and when they get pissed off at him for it, he blames it on being fat. Vera wants to like him, maybe even look past the fat and give the poor boy some, but then he keeps pulling tasteless murder pranks. You know people like this. You want to empathize, but you feel like they're trying to manipulate you into treating them with kindness. Gross.

Richard Brooker plays an interesting Jason, lanky and slightly hunch-backed, but he's not even the star of the movie. The star is the 3-D.

What other critics hated and I admire about the Friday the 13th movies is just how brazen they were. Thin on plot, long on senseless violence, a couple boobs here and there -- every single chapter was a cynical cash grab, so when they advertised their chapter 3 was to be in 3-D, you can bet they milked the hell out of it. I couldn't help but giggle every time they did, especially since I watched it in 2-D. Sure, you get pitchfork handles and Jason lunging at you. Yes, you get an old drifter waggling an eyeball in your face. But are you ready for the gratuitous yo-yo scene? Will anything I say here prepare you for the harrowing encounter with popping corn? I think not.

The kills aren't anything you haven't seen if you've watched the first two Fridays, but the goof factor of the 3-D kept it fun for me. Plus, it's one of the series essentials as it explains where Jason got his mask.  It's a good time.

Friday the 13th Part 3 streams on Starz.