"...by eating the brains of this sacred animal a new source of wisdom would be inherited, bringing those who ate this delicacy closer to God."

A while back one of my readers sent me a message that said, "Oh Master of Things Dark and Unholy, I am jaded and numb to the efforts of contemporary Hollywood hacks trying to be scary. Tell me about a movie that will make me beg, 'Please don't let this be real.'"

I'm paraphrasing a bit, but dear reader, I assure you the violence in the movie I'm about to review is every bit as real as I am.

This week's Thursday Thriller is Faces of Death.

This 1978 documentary by John Alan Schwartz comprises a series of vignettes, some true, some staged, about death, narrated by Dr. Francis B. Gröss, and trust me, he be gross with a capital umlaut! The character is actually played by Michael Carr, so there's your first clue the film plays a little fast and loose with the truth.

Sure, the animal sequences at the beginning are pretty much the stuff of really violent nature documentaries and PETA recruiting videos, so by the time you get to the part where two guys kill a monkey in a restaurant by driving a nail into its skull, then scooping out its brain and passing it around the table as an hors d'oeuvre, you might not be entirely sure it's a fake or not. If you're not too busy wondering how much more you can take, you'll have a good time trying to spot the bogus footage from the real, as Dr. Guh-RO-O-OSS delivers moral insights on such varied topics as vegetarianism, capital punishment and safe spelunking practices.

In addition to the monkey scene, highlights include the electrocution, a cannibalistic ritual blood-orgy, and a sheriff getting eaten by an alligator while a TV reporter bearing some serious moose knuckle takes you there live. You'll definitely have to ask yourself: Is it real?

Faces of Death streams on Shudder and YouTube.