"Now all the images of horror, the demons of your mind, crowd in on you to destroy you."

I have a confession for you mortals.

I am not real.

I am a figment of your collective imagination, a shared nightmare, an occupant of the shadowy corners of your inbred psyches. You made me up, you perverts. You called me up from the darkest recesses of your minds, recesses you don't want to even acknowledge possessing, the recesses into which you pour all your madness and hope it never overflows!

And now I'd like to tell you about a cool movie I saw.

This week's Thursday Thriller is Daughter of Horror.

A lot of mystery surrounds this 1955 John Parker film. For example, not a word of dialogue is spoken throughout. I'm not clear on whether they couldn't afford microphones or the cast had terrible voices.

The only one who gets to do any speaking in the film is the throaty-voiced narrator (Richard Barron) who takes you inside the mind of a deranged woman (Adrienne Barrett). The narration is primarily in the second person, so for the remainder of the film, you are the deranged woman.

You are haunted by a newspaper headline -- "MYSTERIOUS STABBING". Literally the newspaper floats on the wind and follows you through the grimy, neon-lit streets and alleyways populated by pimps, aggressive winos and blackjack-wielding thugs. Most of the men wear fedoras and just about everyone smokes.

Why is the stabbing mysterious? During one of your hallucinations the narrator, Slenderman-looking motherfucker that he is, shows you in the graveyard that you are the perpetrator. You stabbed your abusive father after he shot your mother. Both your parents are murdered and you're still alive. Surely, the police want to talk to you.

As a matter of fact they do. There's a policeman following you around, and he has the same face as your father. Why is that? And why doesn't he just bring you in for questioning as soon as he sees you instead of waiting for you to kill a fat guy then cut off his hand with a bigass switchblade?

My guess is because MADNESS!

The rest of the soundscape is filled in with music -- part traditional film score, part jazz, and part vocals that sound like the lady who sings on the old Star Trek theme.

Daughter of Horror is a hallucinatory noir thriller, heavy on atmosphere. Every scene could be the cover of a pulp magazine. It's very cool. It's very weird. It streams on Amazon Prime and YouTube.

"You think I don't know the difference between a wolf and a man?"

It's a full moon tonight. Let's talk about werewolves.

This week's Thursday Thriller is The Wolf Man.

This 1941 George Waggner film is a cinematic landmark -- the first watchable werewolf movie. It was preceded by 1935's painfully boring Werewolf of London.

Lon Chaney Jr. plays Larry Talbot, the prodigal son of Sir John Talbot (Claude Rains), a rich guy who dabbles in astronomy. Larry comes home after his brother died in a hunting accident and starts tinkering with dad's telescope, through which he spots a pretty girl getting dressed across the street.

The movie is a major studio release from the 1940s, so the voyeuristic moment involves earrings. Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) is dressed from neck to wrists to ankles throughout the film. Still, Larry likes what he sees and ambles over to the shop Gwen works at to make creepily knowing comments about her jewelry, purchase a walking stick with a silver wolf's head for a handle and to get turned down for a date no fewer than three times.

Still, because it's the 1940s, when a woman says no, she means, "I'll be waiting out front with a friend at 8." It's like that stupid Christmas song people have been arguing about for the past decade.

So off Larry goes to the gypsy carnival with a gal on each arm. The other girl Jenny (Fay Helm) gets attacked by a wolf and Larry beats it off.

Er, I mean, he clubs it to death with his silver-handled cane.

Larry takes a fang in the process, and becomes the proud recipient of the curse of the werewolf. Bodies start turning up and as Larry can't account for his whereabouts he deduces he has something to do with it. Problem is, Sir John and his educated society friends won't hear it because in their rational world, lycanthropy is little more than a mental illness.

Chaney gives a great performance as a man condemned to kill, to live with the guilt, and no one will believe when he tries to confess. To our jaded modern eyes the transformation sequences leave something to be desired, but the end result is an iconic monster designed by Jack Pierce. There's also a balls-trippy hallucination sequence.

The Wolf Man is an undisputed classic. If you haven't seen it it's time and if you have, it's time to see it again. It streams on Starz.

Happy Full Moon.

"So, in a tournament, I snap his arms or he taps out and we all go get burgers."

St. Patrick's Day is coming up and I'm in the mood for something green.

This week's Thursday Thriller is Green Room.

It has nothing to do with St. Patrick's Day. Instead, this 2015 Jeremy Saulnier film is about a hardcore punk band that siphoned gas all across the country to get to a gig that was canceled. The promoter lined them up a backup gig that paid them each six dollars and some change. To make things right he calls his cousin and gets them booked at a skinhead bar. Sounds like a shit gig, but it pays $350, so they take it.

They open with a pretty good cover of the Dead Kennedys' "Nazi Punks Fuck Off" and survive their set unscathed. Just as it looks like they've survived the ordeal and gotten paid, Sam (Alia Shawkat) realizes she forgot the band's phone in the green room. Pat (Anton Yelchin) goes to get it and discovers one the neo-Nazis has stabbed a woman in the head. He calls the police, but the skinheads take his phone and detain them while they go get the bar owner and spiritual leader Darcy (Patrick Stewart) to tell them how to sweep the whole thing under the rug.

There's angry music, gun play, dog attacks; arms get fucked up. It's a tense movie.

Green Room streams on Netflix.

"When it comes to blood in my underwear, I want to know how it got there."

This week's Thursday Thriller is Brain Damage.

This 1988 comedy was written and directed by Frank Henenlotter. You remember him. He also made Basket Case and Frankenhooker. He's a weird guy.

The movie is about a guy named Brian (Rick Hearst) who lives in an apartment with his brother Mike (Gordon MacDonald). They have weird, old people for neighbors. At the beginning of the movie the old people are way over-actingly upset because Aylmer is missing. It turns out Aylmer is a parasitic slug whose head is somewhat brain-shaped and who speaks in a golden baritone. Aylmer likes to attach himself to his host's spine and force them to take him out hunting for his favorite snack, human brains. In return, Aylmer injects his host with blue juice that feels so good. The host barely remembers murdering anybody.

I liked Brain Damage, but not as much as Henenlotter's other films. It definitely has its moments, but if you haven't seen Basket Case, watch it first.

Basket Case streams on Shudder.