"Put the knife away, kid, or I'll use it to cut welfare checks from your rotten skin."

This week, of all the mortals in the world, I'd like to address the Louisvillains.

Today the powers that be are closing the Second Street Bridge in preparation for Thunder Over Louisville, the biggest spectacle of fire and military might this side of Baghdad, and kickoff event for the Kentucky Derby Festival.

The Second Street Bridge, as it's known to locals to can't remember the difference between the Clark Memorial Bridge and the Lewis and Clark Bridge, may not yet be fully covered in butter-colored paint, but the city has definitely been cleaning up to make the place look nice for the 145th Run for the Roses. Namely, they destroyed a homeless camp at Jackson and Jefferson. City officials have denied it has anything to do with the Derby, but come on. We all know you can't have the place looking trashy when the Kardashians come visit. They might feel upstaged.

In that spirit of spring cleaning, this week's Thursday Thriller is Hobo with a Shotgun.

This 2011 Jason Eisener film was based on a fake trailer that played before Grindhouse.

In an almost spaghetti-western premise, Rutger Hauer plays a drifter who rides the rails into a town that's plagued by lawlessness and corruption. Our hobo arrives just in time to see the crime boss Drake (Brian Downey) have his pompadoured brother Logan decapitated. Logan is played by Trailer Park Boys's Robb Wells if that matters to anybody.

Drake has two sons Slick (Gregory Smith) and Ivan (Nick Batemen). They're sort of the Eric and Don Jr. of the operation. The hobo runs afoul of Slick by stopping his maltreatment of a prostitute named Abby (Molly Dunsworth). For his trouble Slick carves the hobo up. Abby lets the hobo stay at her apartment. They become friends.

All this time, all the hobo wanted was a little money so he could invest in a lawnmower and start his own business. He begs for loose change and ultimately eats a glass bottle for a guy who makes those bum fights videos. While the hobo is picking out his lawnmower at the pawn shop, some masked thugs try to rob the place. It is at this point that the hobo decides he's had enough, and instead gets a shotgun and starts turning bad people into big, 'splodey, gooey messes.

Of course he still has to deal with Drake and sons, who turn up their reign of violence and terror in retaliation.

Hobo with a Shotgun is a fun, gory movie with some great dialogue and over-the-top color saturation.  It delivers everything you might expect and more. I don't rank movies, but if I did, I'd put this one right above WolfCop.  It streams on Hulu, Hoopla and Shudder.