"It's not the movie. It's this theater. It's this theater that kills."

By now, you've no doubt noticed that Death has been putting in a lot of overtime this year. Ordinarily, I'd be all about that, but the fact is Hell's getting overcrowded. 

Yes, Hell is generally overcrowded. It's supposed to be uncomfortable. Usually I am able to tune out the screams of tortured souls, but the constant and ever-growing funk-spacerock jam session in the grand ballroom is so loud I can barely follow the plots of my favorite movies. Plus, I lost the remote yesterday and spent three hours looking for it. It was under a half-eaten toddler. Mrs. Reagan won't get out of my chair.

I've had it. It's time to clean house. 

On Saturday, Aug. 27, at 8:29 p.m. I will personally unleash thousands of the dead to walk Bardstown Road in Louisville, KY, because that's as good a place as any. 

The very idea has put me in the mood to watch a zombie movie, so this week's Thursday Thriller is Demons.

This 1985 film was directed by Lamberto Bava, son of Mario Bava, and produced by Dario Argento.

I know you're saying, "Hey Big Red, I thought you were going to talk about a zombie movie. The title suggests this one might be about, you know, demons."

 Let's look at the synopsis on IMDb:

"A group of people are trapped in a large movie theater in West Berlin that is infected by ravenous demons who proceed to kill and posses (sic) the humans one-by-one, thereby multiplying their numbers." 

In other words, any person they kill becomes one of them, by means of infection. 

Close enough, right? Besides, their eyes glow and they have long, scary teeth, making them a lot cooler than traditional Romero zombies. With all due respect to Romero, I might suggest that the Italians used to make better zombie movies than Americans.

In the case of Demons, maybe it's the use of vibrant primary colors, reminiscent of Argento's Suspiria. It could be the heavy use of '80s metal in the soundtrack. Maybe it's the entirely irrelevant subplot about a bunch of car thieves who cruise around snorting cocaine out of a Coca-Cola can, but I got a far bigger kick out of this one than Day of the Dead.

I think it might be that it was grosser. A lot of Italian horror carries a certain factor I'd like to call profundo vomito.When a victim of a demon scratch turns, they develop a throbbing boil that explodes in a splatter of green slime. The shades of green vary, but I found especially compelling the one that most closely matches a John Deere lawnmower. 

It could also be that Italians are generally considered less inhibited than Americans. They have no shame or embarrassment in presenting dashing heroics that involve riding around on a dirt bike slashing at monsters with a samurai sword. 

 

This movie is a heap of glorious Eurotrash that adds a little spice to the typical zombie tropes. Demons streams on Hulu Plus, Shudder and YouTube.