"This is a hell of a lot better than a mountain lion, son."

Picking out a movie to watch can be hard. You don't want to watch something you've seen a zillion times already, but you don't necessarily want to gamble a couple hours on something so new and obscure you have no frame of reference for enjoying it. You crave a fresh viewing experience, but the comfort of the familiar is irresistible.

I might just have the movie for you.

If you haven't already seen it, that is.

This week's Thursday Thriller is The Woman.

This 2011 film was directed by Lucky McKee, who also directed May and All Cheerleaders Die. It's based on the novel he wrote with Jack Ketchum, who also wrote The Girl Next Door. Angela Bettis, who played May is in it. So is Lauren Ashley Carter, who was in Darling.

The Woman is about a lawyer named Chris (Sean Bridgers) who, while hunting, discovers a feral woman (Pollyanna McIntosh) living in the woods, with her rotten teeth, taking bites out of live fish she just stabbed with her Bowie knife, her hair matted, her filthy boobs hanging out. Wait, where did she get a Bowie knife? It doesn't matter because she obviously doesn't have it with her later to cut her way out of Chris's net. Chris drags her home to the cellar and chains her up, then goes about assigning his family chores for her feeding and care while he civilizes her. Civilization entails being cleaned with a pressure washer, then later raped after the kids are put to bed. It's for her own good, right?

Chris's wife Belle (Bettis) isn't comfortable with the idea of keeping another human chained up in the cellar, no matter how wild she may be, but Chris persuades her to put her worried mind to rest by slapping her across the mouth. Chris and Belle have three children. Peggy (Carter) the oldest is going through a rough patch of baggy sweatshirts and outbursts of nausea in geometry class. Adolescent son Brian (Zach Rand) diligently practices his free throws. And little Darlin' (Shyla Molhusen) loves to bake gingerbread men.

Having the woman around piques Brian's sexual curiosity so much that he skips hanging around with his friends after school just so he can come home early and molest her with a pair of needle nose pliers.

Maybe this doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun, but I assure you, everyone gets their violent comeuppance. It's a feminist film, after all.

The Woman streams on Shudder.