"Who brings a dice purse to a demon apocalypse anyway?"

Over the past century or so, it seems if anybody sings a song that doesn't praise the Lord God High and Mighty, I get the credit. The blues was my music. Jazz was my music. Rock 'N' Roll was my music. Some dipshit even thinks I'm in charge of Beyonce.

But heavy metal? That one's true. It really is my music.

This week's Thursday Thriller is Deathgasm.

This 2015 splatter comedy by writer/director Jason Lei Howden hails from New Zealand. It's about a boy named Brodie (Milo Cawthorne) whose mom goes crazy and he has to move in with his uncle. The new kid in school, Brodie can't find any fellow headbangers to hang out with, so he winds up playing Dungeons & Dragons with a couple of dorks because they're the only ones who'll have him. Such a fate is hardly befitting Brodie because he has heavy metal daydreams, specifically about gusts of wind throwing his hair around as he stands shirtless atop a mountain shredding a guitar while naked women wrapped around his legs swoon.

Then one day he meets a thief named Zakk (James Blake) at the record store, they bond over studded leather and start a band with the dorks. Soon Zakk pressures Brodie into breaking into the home of one of their favorite musicians. For reasons I can't spoil, he gives them the sheet music to the Black Psalm, they play it and people start vomiting blood all over the place and turn into Evil Dead-style demons.

Or are they more like Lamberto Bava-style demons? Whatever they are, they're cool.

It's gory. It's silly. It's brutal, dude. Totally fuckin' metal. Deathgasm streams on Netflix.

This weekend only, mention Deathgasm at the ticket booth, and get $2 off your admission to The Devil's Attic.