Except maybe for around Halloween time when I drop a couple references to my own live horror show, The Devil's Attic. It's a haunted house in Louisville, KY. Then some of you get your panties in a twist about the overt marketing message.
Think of it like public broadcasting. You get free content, but a couple times a year they hit you up for money, and I'm not even asking for that. I'm just saying if you're in the Louisville area around Halloween and you like this blog, maybe a trip to The Devil's Attic is for you. Think about it -- that's all I ask. It's pledge drive, strap in.
I have so much fun at The Devil's Attic.
For example, last weekend I popped off my throne at this group and a mother yelled at her adolescent daughter to, "Stop being scared."
I informed the family that, "THAT IS THE SINGLE DUMBEST PIECE OF ADVICE I HAVE EVER HEARD! YOU PAID MONEY TO BE SCARED! LOOK AT ALL THE SCARY STUFF IN THIS ROOM! IT'S SCARY IN HERE! BY ALL MEANS, BE SCARED!"
Not only is it dumb advice, it's unhelpful. Why not tell the kid to lower her body temperature while you're at it?
I continued my introduction with multiple interruptions from Mama Dumbass, and though I admonished her every time, "Shut up, Mom, no one cares what you think!" she kept interrupting.
A lot of secrets were in play here, though. I was no longer interested in scaring or even entertaining mom, so she could interrupt me all night. What was fun was watching the twinkle of mischief in her child's eyes grow every time I undermined her maternal authority. My mission was to inspire teenage rebellion, and 10 to 11 years old is as good a time as any for a child to learn their parents are assholes.
Also, I saw no reason to scare the mother because she was clearly already frightened. Is there a more obvious, desperate grasp for control over a situation than yelling at a child for having emotions? Why would anyone need to exert that much control over another person and their feelings?
Because she herself is terrified.
We'll talk more next week about how people try to hide their fear by trying to control a situation, but now it's time to tell you about a movie, at no cost, because telling you about movies is a public service I provide.
This week's Thursday Thriller is Terrifier.
The debate among horror fans over this 2017 Damien Leone film is a hot one. A lot of folks seem to love it, and who can blame them? It's been decades since we've seen a slasher with an original, iconic look and Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton) fills the bill.
Art brutally murders just about everybody. That's it. That's the whole story. That's why a lot of other folks don't like it. No plot. No character development. It leaves so many questions unanswered, like, what's Art's problem, anyway? When Mike the exterminator (Matt McAllister) guides Tara (Jenna Kanell) to the bathroom in the vacant, dilapidated building, why does he put his earbuds in and go back to killing rats instead of seeing her safely out? Does Art work out, because when he saws Dawn (Catherine Corcoran) lengthwise in half with a hacksaw he doesn't even get winded?
For me, it kind of hit the spot. I've been feeling impatient of late and can't hang with the unrelenting cabal of moody, slow-burning supernatural thrillers.
The acting is decent, the photography is competent, and it's gory as all get out. Terrifier is a great movie if you just want to get to the kills already. It streams on Netflix.
Mention Terrifier at The Devil's Attic this weekend and get $2 off your admission.
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