"Ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed and reamed!"

With all the division in America of late, is there anything the country needs more now than the Super Bowl? It's time for Americans of every race, religion and economic status to come together, by which I mean stay in their homes and turn on their televisions, eat 8 million pounds of guacamole, and bask in the pomp, the pageantry, the spectacle, the halftime show and the commercials.

Apparently, there's also a football game, and this year's matchup is going to be a doozy! It's the Los Angeles Don't-Deserve-To-Be-Theres versus the New England This-Isn't-Even-Interesting-Anymores.

Here are some fun facts I found on Wikipedia so they must be true: Super Bowl Sunday annually marks the second highest food consumption in the United States, right behind Thanksgiving. The Super Bowl is often the most-watched American television broadcast of the year.

In light of this nationwide hunger for sport, I've got the perfect movie to tell you about.

This week's Thursday Thriller is Death Race 2000.

Roger Corman produced this 1975 dystopian action-comedy. It was directed by Paul Bartel.

In the far-flung future year 2000, America has become a real shithole. Every year the government distracts the people by giving them what they want -- a violent sporting event hosted by airhead celebrities.

It is not a documentary.

The Death Race is a cross-country competition in which drivers score points by running people over in their highly stylized vehicles. Each driver has a theme/costume/persona like wrestlers do. You've got Matilda the Hun (Roberta Collins), Calamity Jane (Mary Woronov), Nero the Hero (Martin Love) and so on.

David Carradine plays Frankenstein, the greatest Death Race driver of all time. In previous races, he's crashed, lost body parts, had them replaced, virtually brought back from the dead time and again. Sylvester Stallone plays his arch-rival Machine Gun Joe Viterbo.

Just as this Sunday's Big Game will have nerds on Facebook all day telling everybody how they don't care about sportsball, the Death Race has its own set of haters -- The Resistance. Led by Thomasina Paine (Harriet Medin), the Resistance intends to disrupt the Death Race and kill all the drivers, especially Frankenstein, which seems way cleverer and more interesting to me than calling any televised game "sports ball."

The Resistance has even infiltrated the race, planting Paine's niece Annie (Simone Griffeth) as Frankenstein's navigator.

Frankenstein's got every body out to kill him, but he has to win the race so that he can shake the President's hand.

On first glance, this movie might look a little cheesy. It is cheesy, but Death Race 2000 balances its chase sequences, explosions, violence, tits and ass with subversiveness and a sharp, satirical bite. Keep a sharp eye out for the recently deceased Dick Miller as a leather-jacketed hooligan whose gang likes to play chicken with the death racers. Last one down the manhole is out of luck.

Death Race 2000 streams on Hoopla and YouTube.