We are expanding the Fourth Circle to make room for people who say, "And go!" on social media.
You know who I'm talking about -- the people who can't decide what to read, watch or buy; the people too lazy to look up customer reviews; the people who want you to do their research for them and don't even have the decency to tag on a "please" or a "thanks in advance."
No. Instead, you get, "What's a good movie to watch? And go!"
Hurry up, mortal! Hop to! Your inconsiderate, dumbass friend can't make a damn decision! Why are you taking so long figuring out their life for them?
It's especially galling because I started this blog with these very people in mind. Don't know what to watch? Totally understandable! The sheer volume of online viewing options is overwhelming. That's why I sift through what's out there, bring a few promising options before the Editorial Board of the Damned and let them vote on a movie to recommend.
This week's Thursday Thriller is Silver Bullet.
I know I just reviewed a werewolf movie two weeks ago, but you know how the werewolves on the board can be. They tend to vote as a pack and they were howling for me to tell you about this one.
This 1985 film was based on a novella by Stephen King and directed by Daniel Attias.
In the spring of 1976, a werewolf started attacking people in the town of Tarker's Mills. In the first four minutes of the film, the monster takes a swipe at the town drunk and the guy's head goes flying across the screen.
That is unless you think the town drunk is Milt Sturmfuller (James A. Baffico). He's the father of Tammy (Heather Simmons). Milt doesn't want Tammy hanging around with Marty Coslaw (Corey Haim) because Marty's legs don't work. Milt's obviously a big, drunk jerk, and he gets impaled on a piece of broken floor board.
Maybe the town drunk is Andy Fairton (Bill Smitrovich), who sits around the bar in his handlebar mustache badmouthing Sheriff Joe Haller (Terry O'Quinn) for not catching whoever's doing all this killing.
But then the town drunk might be Red (Gary Busey). He's Marty's cool uncle that fixed him up with special gas-powered wheelchair called the Silver Bullet. After Tammy has to leave town and Marty's probably-not-drunk friend Brady (Joe Wright) gets torn to shreds in the park, Red gives Marty a more powerful gas-powered wheelchair with the front end of a motorcycle. It's also called the Silver Bullet.
I guess my point is a lot of people are drunk in this movie.
While all the town is drunkenly looking for some kind of psychotic maniac, only Marty gets the idea that maybe a werewolf is killing people. Soon, he's the only one who sees it, and even Uncle Red believe him at first. This is a recurring theme in Stephen King's writing -- that only children in their innocence can see the omnipresent, evil magic at work, and that jaded, drunken, skeptical adults would do well to listen to them. He did the same thing in Salem's Lot.
Another of King's pet themes is that religious authorities are full of shit. That also comes into play.
I enjoyed watching Silver Bullet. How can you not like drunk Gary Busey pimping out a wheelchair into a motorcycle for a kid to do battle with a monster? My favorite part actually involved a mass transformation in a church.
It's far from a perfect movie, though. You can kinda see the line where the wolf mask meets the wolf suit.
As Stephen King adaptations go, Silver Bullet is no Carrie from 1976. I'd rank it somewhere in there between Children of the Corn and Cujo.
As a werewolf movie, it's no An American Werewolf in London. It's somewhere in the vicinity of Dog Soldiers.
Silver Bullet streams on Amazon Prime and Hulu.
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