"I'm going to commit murder at midnight."

I hope everyone had a good Christmas, and all your petty, materialistic dreams were realized. 

Ha! I know better. 

That's the thing about petty, materialistic dreams, they're never satisfied. There's always something Kris P. Kringle forgot to bring you. All the stuff is never enough. Keep it up, mortals. I love it.

A new year is right around the corner, and in the spirit of letting auld acquaintance be forgot, I hope you'll forget about my track record of recommending holiday films. Thankskilling was painfully not even funny, and Santa Sangre didn't even have Santa in it. This week is different, though,  because I have a New Year's movie for you -- 1980's New Year's Evil,  by director Emmett Alston.

With all the parties happening, you may think your dance card is too full for a Thursday Thriller this week. The good news is you don't even have to pay New Year's Evil that much attention. It's a real party movie. The plot's fairly straightforward. 

A TV personality called Blaze (Roz Kelly) hosts a big new wave party called New Year's Evil in L.A. and the biggest names in punk rock are there. You've got Shadow, and Made in Japan, and Shadow, and Made in Japan, and Shadow... you get the idea. They're not bad for a couple of punk bands you've never heard of prominently featured in a movie you've never heard of.

The show is so big it's being simulcast in New York, Chicago and Aspen, so every time it turns midnight in North America, they've got live coverage of it. It's like having four big parties in one. Between songs Blaze takes calls to hear viewer's pics for song of the year. She receives a call from a guy who calls himself Evil (Kip Niven). Evil resolves to kill someone at midnight, and thanks to the coverage of eastern, central, mountain and Pacific time zones, that means he's going to kill four people. 

Simple, right? I think you can handle this one, no matter how much fun you've already had straight out of the bottle, you pathetic lush. 

One last thing: I'm not entirely sure the significance, but Evil also looks a little like Bruce Jenner. It seems like it's just a coincidence, but it's hard to overlook in the film's final scenes, in which he wears a red, white and blue track suit. I'm obviously talking about Wheaties box Bruce Jenner, not Vanity Fair Bruce Jenner. If you're looking for that kind of movie, you should watch Sleepaway Camp. 

Caitlyn might have tried on a whole other persona before realizing she was trapped in the wrong body.

New Year's Evil streams on Amazon Prime for zero extra dollars and zero extra cents. Throw it on in the background at your New Year's party for an atmosphere of punk rock and murder.