"There is an evil here, an evil you don't want to wake up."

The word "Nazi" has been tossed around a lot lately, and I'm starting to get the feeling people don't know what they're talking about.

The Nazis were a political party that in Germany rose to prominence under the direction of Adolf Hitler in the 1930s. Hitler blamed the economic ills of the day on ethnic and religious minorities, and promised to make Germany great again.

OK, so maybe they do know what they're talking about.

Hitler and the Nazis rode a wave of populist outrage into the highest offices of power, exterminated millions of people and set out to conquer Europe. Anyone who passed 10th grade history should know this already, but did your teacher tell you how they bankrolled the war effort?

Legend has it they looted every place they conquered and accumulated a massive stash of what's now referred to as "Nazi gold."

By the way, this week's Thursday Thriller is Dead Snow.

This 2009 film by Norwegian filmmaker Tommy Wirkola is about a group of medical students on a skiing trip who find some of the famous Nazi gold in their cabin, inciting the ire of a bunch of Nazi zombies who will stop at nothing to protect their booty. They're kind of like ghost pirates, but with swastikas instead of skulls and crossbones.

When I first watched this movie a couple years ago, I didn't care for it. Maybe I was just in a bad mood, but it seemed a little too desperate to make countless nods to other horror films, most especially Evil Dead. As I watched it again this week, though, I was a lot more taken with the gory action sequences and found it to be a lot of fun. It's one hell of a bloody movie.

Dead Snow streams on Netflix and Shudder.

"Gobble gobble, motherfucker!"

It's a big family holiday here in America, so even if you're not working, you still likely have a dozen things you'd rather not do today. For example, you might have to eat some frozen, jellied turkey-vegetable salad, because your aunt tried the recipe in 1975 and everyone told her it was good just to be polite and now you're doomed to eat two spoonfuls of this slop every year until she dies. You don't want to pray for someone's death, especially not your own flesh and blood, but come on, it's frozen, jellied turkey-vegetable salad.

Alas, you must endure because it's tradition. That's how I feel about reviewing the movie I'm about to tell you about. Last year I wrote about ThanksKilling, so this week's Thursday Thriller is ThanksKilling 3.

If you're wondering why I'm not reviewing ThanksKilling 2, it's because there isn't one. According to the 2012 sequel by director Jordan Downey, ThanksKilling 2 was the worst movie ever made, in addition to having a curse on it, so a spaceman robot guy and a worm puppet that looks kinda phallic, have destroyed every copy but one.

Turkie, the ugly puppet that's the star of the franchise, catches wind there is only one copy left and sets off with his son to find it.

The movie has fallen into the backpack of Yomi, a Muppet-style creature who has lost her mind and is in desperate search for it. She asks a powdered wig-wearing entrepreneur named Uncle Donny (Daniel Usaj) to take her to Thanksgiving because it might be there. He brings her home where she meets his brother Jefferson (Joe Hartzler) and his grandmother, who is a rapping puppet.

Uncle Donny and Jefferson tell Yomi about their dream to one day open Thanksgivingland, a theme park with rides like The Gravy Train and so on, then Turkie shows up and starts causing trouble trying to get his movie. Not to worry, because they run him through Uncle Donny's invention The PluckMaster and kill him, but then some skeleton turkeys resurrect him, but they couldn't put his penis back on so Turkie attaches a chainsaw in its place in a nod to Evil Dead 2.

After that it gets a little weird.

This movie is a sloppy, all-over-the-place mess with lots of puppets, tasteless humor and trippy, flashy bits with throbbing dubstep for background music. It's annoying on purpose. If I have to say something nice, I'll admit I laughed at parts of it. It's a unique viewing experience and even more outlandish than the first one.

ThanksKilling 3 streams on Amazon Prime.

"Tonight might just be the night you finally outrun those wicked demons once and for all."

As funny as I find the whole situation in America right now, there's not a lot I can honestly say that hasn't been said angrily, thought poorly, spelled badly and delivered confidently with only the slipperiest finger-hold on reality. And that's just the stuff on your new president's top advisor's Web site.

It's still up for grabs whether the last minute panic about Hillary's e-mails had any thing to do with her losing any more than, say, calling half the country deplorable, but I still wish she'd come clean about all the dirty  messages she's been sending me. They're not as dirty as Mike Pence's, so I think people might understand.

And the way you've been treating each other! I honestly couldn't be prouder of you, but you don't click on this blog for adulation. You click on this blog to find out where they're hiding the good horror movies online, and you're looking for good horror movies because you want some harmless thrills that make the truly scary shit people say on social media seem timid.

I don't know if anything can compete with the horror of Americans trying to interact with each other on social media right now, but I found a movie I liked.

This week's Thursday Thriller is Southbound.

This 2015 film is an anthology, of sorts, five stories connected by one thing, a desert highway with no name and no number. It starts with two men, Mitch and Jack, both covered in blood trying to escape their recent past. They pull off at a gas station to use the bathroom and fill up the truck, and get back on the highway. After hours of driving, they find themselves back at the gas station. It then occurs to them that a flying skeleton with no facial features was been following them, and it's really weird because how does it fly when there's no skin on its wing bones? It kills Jack and Mitch checks into a motel where his daughter keeps screaming for him but he can't find her.

After that you're off to the races -- Dana Gould plays an occult priest in one segment, a guy trying to help a girl he ran over with his car gets tormented by 911 operators, there's some strange business about making sure the door of the bar is latched shut. This movie is a hell-ride. The interweaving stories are cool, but I felt like the movie lacked something to tie it all together and make you say, "Oh, that's what the fuck was going on!" if that sort of thing is important to you. I could take it or leave it.

So I'll take Southbound. You should take a break from yelling at each other and watch it. It streams on Amazon Prime.

"I am infected with the filth of pride."

Americans are a funny lot. About half of them will spend the whole day after a presidential election crying, "How? How did this happen?" then two weeks later, sit down with their families and celebrate their heritage as countrymen in a nation that started as a colony founded by buckle-hatted religious nuts, and never draw any connection.

I can hear you now.

"Hey Devil, how come you're always spreading misleading stereotypes? I know you're the Father of Lies and all, but come on!"

And you're right. The Puritans didn't actually have buckles on their hats, and in the movie I'm about to tell you about, you will see zero hat buckles because the costume department obviously got their history straight.

This week's Thursday Thriller is The Witch.

This 2015 period drama by writer/director Robert Eggers is about a pilgrim named William (Ralph Ineson) who's too nutty even for the other pilgrims so they banish him and his family to go live in the woods by themselves. 

That's a pretty good beginning even though it's a little hard to follow what's going on through their thick accents and 1600s dialect. The first step in a lot of horror movies is to isolate the victims. It's rare to find a horror movie these days whose opening title sequence isn't a montage of a car driving out to the ass end of nowhere. Generally, it's either college kids on spring break or a young family moving into a new house with a dark past. It's become so common that if I see people unpacking cardboard boxes in the first five minutes, I turn the damn thing off. So maybe you can appreciate, as I did, the novel approach of having this family shunned by angry pilgrims.

Once in the woods, William's family becomes easy pickings for destruction by supernatural forces. The baby vanishes. The crops go bad. At one point the mother, Katherine (Kate Dickie), hallucinates she's nursing her baby again, when in fact she's letting a raven eat her titty off. The real fun starts when the kids accuse each other of witchcraft and William can't decide which one to kill. 

I've noticed opinion on this movie is split. Some horror fans hate it. I have to admit it's not typical Thursday Thrillers fare. The screams and splatter are minimal, but sometimes I enjoy a movie that's not constantly exploding.  I found the performances compelling, especially from the child actors Anya Taylor-Joy and Harvey Scrimshaw who portray William and Katherine's two eldest. The atmosphere is brooding and the sound design keeps the tension simmering throughout. Story-wise, I'd say it's like The Crucible meets The Exorcist with a dash of The Shining thrown in.

The Witch streams on Amazon Prime, now shut up and eat.

"When are you going to demand what you deserve?"

Well, Halloween's over, and what a blowout it was. I've had five straight nights of heavy haunting at The Devil's Attic, including something called Chaos Night that ended in an all-out brawl -- all my monsters set loose on one unlucky group of visitors. I could barely tell what was happening for all the smoke. Whips were cracking.  Chainsaws were revving. My minion Arshlok was riding around on his victim's back. So was The Jackal. I've been laughing so hard about it over the past few days I almost forgot to pick out a movie.

If you've been following me here since March, then you know I've been reviewing movies in chronological order of their release. I started the Thursday before people in the U.S. set their clocks forward with the first feature-length horror film, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and wound my way through the ages up until last week's review of Holidays. On Sunday, it will be time for America to set its clocks back, and the Earth will rotate away from All Hallow's Eve, so my coverage of horror cinema will go backwards in time for the next six months. That means I had to find the newest watchable movie on Netflix.

It wasn't easy to find. Some real crap has come out in the last year.

This week's Thursday Thriller is Scherzo Diabolico.

This 2015 film by Spanish director Adrián García Bogliano is a twisty tale of greed, abduction and revenge. An accountant named Aram can't get a promotion no matter how much overtime he puts in at the office. His wife bitches at him for never being home and having no extra money to show for it. Finally, Aram decides to stand up for himself by kidnapping his boss's daughter. 

He plans and prepares meticulously. He practices his sleeper hold on his dad. He gets tying-people-up lessons from a prostitute. He even practices a few abduction techniques on his son. It nearly goes off without a hitch, but when he throws the girl in the trunk of his car, his iPod falls in while playing his favorite classical piano piece. 

Eventually, the girl goes free and the real fun starts when her father plays the same track and triggers in her a psychotic episode. After that she sets her mind to fucking up Aram's life. 

I liked this movie, but as I say, had a little trouble focusing because I'm still laughing at all the punishments I've inflicted on mortals over the last week at the Devil's Attic. For those who didn't get to come see me, there's always next year. Until then, you can follow me here for hot movie picks every week.