Wednesday, February 7, 2018

"You must take everything off. Try it once."

Valentine's Day -- a celebration of romantic love, eros. When the winged baby draws his bow, let's fly his arrow and it pierces your heart, you may find yourself helpless, hopeless, your mind flooded with questions.

Is the object of your desire the one for you? Is there anything you can do to make them love you back? Who taught that baby archery?

A Google search will locate for you hundreds of advice blogs and love spells, many of which begin with a ritual bath to remove negative love patterns, align your energies and condition your aura to attract love. I believe this piece of wisdom originated with Redd Foxx.

This particular blog isn't set up to offer love advice, but I can recommend a movie to throw on while you're making out.

This week's Thursday Thriller is The Vampire Lovers.



This 1970 Hammer film, directed by Roy Ward Baker, was based on the 1872 story Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. It stars Polish actress Ingrid Pitt as a hot, lesbian vampire who has a habit of crashing out in the castles of noble families, seducing their nubile daughter's and slowly draining them of their life's blood. There's also a mysterious, by which I mean barely explained, Man In Black (John Forbes-Robertson) hanging around nearby most of the time.



When the Morton family happens upon a carriage wreck, they take Carmilla into their home. She forms an immediate bond with young Emma, played by the stunning Madeleine Smith. Before long they're frolicking naked around Carmilla's bedroom after her bath.


Then Emma's health goes south. She starts having crazy night terrors and discovers two puncture wounds on her breast. Carmilla covers her tracks by bringing a couple servants under her seductive spell, but she's played this game too many times before and soon Baron Joachim von Hartog (Douglas Wilmer) and General von Spielsdorf (Peter Cushing) come vampire hunting.

This movie's alright. As softcore lesbian vampire erotica goes, it's not as dirty as, say, the work of Jean Rollin, but it might have a broader appeal as it's more competently made. It has a fair amount of female nudity and two decapitations, but the point this week isn't really to pay attention. It's to get your freak on.

The Vampire Lovers streams on YouTube.

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